Dealing with Diversity Part 3

Diversity is a beautiful thing!  So why do we let it divide us so tragically and painfully?  In the past two months we've examined three steps that we should take if want to turn diversity into a tool that can be used to build relationships. First, we learned that we need to humbly acknowledge that we don't always get it right, and that only by accepting that others have valid viewpoints are we able to grow.  Second, we were reminded that God created diversity!  It brings beauty to our world in countless ways, including through differing viewpoints.  Third, we were reminded of what we have always been taught: Love is the answer!  We must love others unconditionally, and believe whole heartedly that relationships are more important than our viewpoints.

Today we finish with one final step and some concluding thoughts.

4.  Based on what has already been mentioned, it is possible for some to allow the pendulum to swing so far that they are afraid to even have an opinion!  But actually having  opinions is essential to diversity.  You may think that to avoid conflict it is easiest to just "go with the flow."  In other words,, if you don't have any opinions, or if you don't express them, you will avoid conflict and all will be well.  This perspective is not helpful and will not bring about growth in you or in others.  It is also detrimental for society as a whole.  The trick, of course, is not to hide our differences, but to effectively manage the conflicts that arise from them.  Celebrate diversity, don't avoid it!


Don't fear differences of opinion!  Embrace them and allow them to bring about growth in your life.  It is almost never easy to do this.  Our human nature fights against it, in fact.  Some will see this as a cry for inclusivity, but nothing could be further from the truth.  Spiritually, we may think that if we listen to other viewpoints we are actually demonstrating agreement with the opinion, no matter how skewed it may be.  For example, if we genuinely listen to someone argue that abortion is acceptable, we are in some way condoning abortion.  This is where it becomes important to separate love and respect for the person from agreement with their viewpoint.  It is entirely possible to listen to an unbiblical viewpoint, have productive and respectful dialogue, and still agree to disagree.  If you abandon the relationship by showing anger, disgust, or impatience, you will NEVER be able to speak truth into the other person's life.  You will have lost their trust.

God does not call us to agree with each other.  He created diversity, including our differences in viewpoints.  But he expects (actually requires) us to interact with each other, no matter our differences, with love and respect.  Christians throughout the ages have had the strongest impact on their cultures simply by showing love, by demonstrating that the way of Jesus is good and life-changing, and by living out this Good News in every aspect of their lives.  In these times when lines have been drawn in the sand, Christians must be willing to step over the line, grab the hand of those we consider to be hopelessly far from the truth, and say, "My friend, let's talk about this."

Dealing with Diversity Part 2

Last month we began to discuss the steps we must take if we hope to learn from the viewpoints of others.  We learned that, much to our surprise, we are not always right!  This subtle acknowledgement is critical if we want to build the capacity to really hear others and learn from their perspective. If we think we are always right, we will rarely listen honestly to others.

Today we continue with two more steps we must take if we hope to come together with others in honest dialogue.

2.  We must understand that God created diversity, and that one of the most fascinating and remarkable aspects of his creation is how that diversity contributes to life itself.  If we acknowledge how the physical differences in the world, for example male and female, contribute to the uniqueness and beauty of the world, why do we struggle to accept that different viewpoints also bring beauty?  We should work hard to understand why others think differently, and then enjoy the spice that it adds to our lives!

3.  Approaching every difference of opinion with a spirit of love is like pouring a bucket of water on a campfire - it effectively puts out the fire and eliminates the chance that the difference in viewpoint will cause a "forest fire," potentially bringing life long separation between two people.  Our love for others and our desire to have a positive relationship with them must be more important than our opinions or our need to be "right."  When we love, we give up the right to have our way, to win our argument, and to always go home with the prize (see 1 Corinthians 13).  Simply put, relationships are more important than viewpoints.

Tune in next week for two more important steps we should take if we want to use diversity to help us grow.

Dealing with Diversity Part 1

It is said that birth order goes a long ways in determining how a person interacts with others.  As the 7th of eight children, growing up in a family with its fair share of conflict, my social and relational tendencies were affected in certain unmistakable ways.  For example, my aversion to conflict is strong.  I just want everyone to get along!  As I have gotten older (and wiser?), I have learned that conflict is not only good but necessary.  This understanding has also impacted how I approach diverse viewpoints, both within and outside of the body of Christ.

Over the years I have learned that the world is full of people who look at life differently than I do.  I remember my first years as a missionary.  I worked closely with people of all different backgrounds, experiences, viewpoints, and even religious perspectives.  And yet our differences were never our focal point.  The imprint on my life from this experience was clear: if human beings WANT to put aside their differences, they CAN.  In other words, it is not only possible, but it's really not that difficult to come together.

Coming together in this way involves a number of important steps:

1.  Acknowledge that I might NOT be right.

This is much harder to do than you might think, and much harder for some than others.  We're all flawed and sinful, and none of us are right about everything.   The problem is, some are so confident in their own thinking that they simply cannot see how anyone could come to a different conclusion.

However, if you cannot accept that you could possibly be wrong about any of your ideas, opinions, or presumptions, you will never be able to accept and learn from the viewpoints of others.  On the other hand, if you can have confidence in your own views but still accept that you could be wrong, then you will be genuinely open to other perspectives, and you will be able to learn, adapt, and grow.

To be continued...

Helping the Hungry

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.

James 1:2-3

And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased.

Hebrews 13:16

A few months ago, while waiting to pick up my daughter from a late night school event, I watched a movie called The Boy Who Harnessed the Wind.  Set in Malawi in the early 2000's, the movie chronicles the hardships a family experienced during a time of famine.

I couldn't help but think of how most Americans would never be able to understand the depth of the hunger pangs felt by families in the movie.  The kind of pain that causes a person to steal and destroy.  The kind of suffering that that makes a person forget all they ever learned from parents, church, and community about how to treat others.  The aching that brings out our animal nature.

Real hunger is something most Americans never experience.  When their stomachs grumble a little bit, they say, "I'm starving! I really need something to eat NOW!"  Honestly, we have no idea what hunger really is, and we've never been close to starving.

Many of my African brothers and sisters, on the other hand, understand all too well.  They have felt it. They have lived it.  It is, for them as much a part of living as the air we breathe.

All Christians are called to help those in need, and not understanding a person's trial is no excuse for ignoring it.  It is not something we are asked to do, it is something we are required to do.  You see, those going through a trial are called to endure it with joy, and those who see others going through a trial are called to walk with them, helping them to survive and thrive.  It is a beautiful plan laid out by a compassionate, ever present God, to help us overcome the trials of this life (Psalm 46:1).

There are rarely easy answers to the trials we face.  The problem of hunger won't end tomorrow or next month or next year.  Instead, the question becomes, "How do we walk with those who hunger, even when we cannot truly understand what they are going through?"  My desire is to reach out with empathy and compassion, as we have been commanded, and also with creativity to help people out of poverty and hunger, and toward a happier, more fulfilled life.

Get Wisdom

The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom.  

Though it cost all you have, get understanding.

Cherish her, and she will exalt you;

embrace her, and she will honor you.

Proverbs 4:7-8

Imagine that you are a teenager and you want to learn to drive.  You and your parents carefully select an instructor and arrange for your first lesson.  As you take the wheel in your hands you casually ask your instructor how many years he has been driving.  He looks at you hesitantly before announcing apologetically that he doesn't actually know how to drive. He suggests that you learn together.  Needless to say, you promptly begin your search for a new instructor.

Like this unprepared instructor, we as leaders are often lacking the most vital component for leadership: wisdom.  And how do we gain wisdom?  We start by asking God, who grants wisdom to those who ask (James 1:5).  Yet the reality is that God gives true wisdom almost exclusively through experience.  There is no shortcut to gaining the wisdom we need to lead.   Of course, wisdom doesn't simply come from experience.  After all, there are plenty of old people without a trace of wisdom!  Wisdom must be sought after.  We must seek it and then put it into practice. It won't happen by accident.  That's why God's advice in the passage above, despite its simplicity, is so true: if you want to be wise, get wisdom!  It all starts with an effort on our part to acquire it.

But we sometimes mistake wisdom for "having all the answers." This is not wisdom.  Wisdom is knowing how to find the answers after all the information and data that you have collected does not bring clear resolution.  In truth, wisdom does not always come from the leader.  It is a wise leader who knows where to look for answers, and who is willing to allow the solution to come from somewhere or even someone else.  This process doesn't imply that the leader doesn't have what it takes. On the contrary, it shows a leaders's humility and willingness to let God provide in times of need.

Our ability to lead depends fully on what God gives us.  It begins with an understanding that we are not naturally wise, and that we desperately need God's wisdom in order to guide others. Ask him today to teach you so that you have some wisdom to share with those around you.

How Can I Help?

Leadership is filled with numerous potential pitfalls, all of which can derail even the best leaders's vision and plans.  One of the most serious of these pitfalls is the misguided notion that leaders are to cast a vision and then let others run with it. Nothing could be further from the truth.

The most eloquently cast vision will die a quick death when there is no practical way to carry it out. Assuredly, a strong leader will empower others to carry out the task, and equipping staff is vital to positive outcomes.  But it is also critical for a leader to fearlessly ask the question, "How can I help?" and then follow through with truly helpful actions that strengthen the mission and vision of the organization.

Are you willing to get your hands dirty in order to get the job done?  Are you willing to lead by example rather than bark orders from outside?  Are you willing to look others squarely in the eye and ask, "How can I help?" and then provide the help asked for, enabling your staff to effectively do their jobs and accomplish the vision?  I can promise you that if you are willing, and if you follow through, you and your team will accomplish more than you could ever dream!

Don't be the obstacle that stands between you and the fulfillment of your vision. Instead, be the conduit through which success passes.  It begins with a simple question: How can I help?

Strength Conditioning

Most of us are far more prone to fixate on our weaknesses than we are to contemplate our strengths.  While it is certainly a useful thing to shore up any areas where we are weak, it is far more productive to build upon the strengths God has already given us.  Even more productive, as a leader, is to help others find and develop their strengths.

My challenge to you is two-fold.  First, stop worrying about all the things you think you may be doing wrong!  While it is true that we all need to improve in some areas (and we certainly shouldn't neglect those areas), it is far more helpful, to yourself, others, and the expansion of God's Kingdom, if you put most of your effort into developing your strengths.  Figure out what you do well, and then get even better at it!

Second, if you are in a position of influence, start looking for the good in others.  Help them find their strengths and then help them learn how to effectively use and further develop those strengths.

God has uniquely gifted and positioned you to do his work.  You are right where he wants you to be at this very moment.  Don't miss out on the opportunities that God has given you to bring hope, help, and dignity to others.  Use your talents to build his Kingdom!  By doing so, you will be a major contributor in the spreading of the Gospel to those most in need.